All I ever wanted is be your everything. Seriously, was damn hurting last night that you told me that I'm not the one that means everything to you. There is something else is more important than me. I'm really really hurt, even now, when I think of it, it feels like a knife stabbing into my heart!
Well, I guess I'm just plain stupid and selfish. But all I wanted is you. Maybe you have different conception. I don't know. I just can say I'm being inconsiderate when it comes to this kind of things. Love is selfish and I am selfish I admit it.
I keep telling myself not to think about it, not to care about this, but I couldn't accept the fact. I wanted to be your everything. You asked me to give you time, I'll give, but in time to come, if the answer is the one I wanted. It wouldn't be that 100% true. It might be just another thing to comfort me. Your intentions are good, but it doesn't please me that way. As I early said it prefer the truth!~
I'm not a good boyfriend at all. I admit this. I couldn't do anything to make your family please. I'm not rich, not good looking, not even intelligent. Maybe I'm destined to be like that. Even those past relationships I had, I've been fooled over and over again. This time, it's better the way I see it, but the pain it's far more worse than last time. Because I really do really love this girl, I can do anything just for you.
I despise the attitude of your family not because how they said me or anything about me. It's the way they treated you. You have a mind of your own, and you should act for your own not them. Past few days you said you will do your things for yourself and not to care that much about what they said, I was glad you you had think through it already, but then, from what I saw recently, it's not the way. You still hang on to their guide lines, everything they had said. But I got no right to judge them and you. After all, you have been staying with them for so long, and me? like at most 1 year? Logically thinking I also couldn't compare to them right? Plus, your relationship bond with your family is stronger than mine.
I don't mean anything, I just wanted to express it all out at here at my blog. I've been not wanting to blog these few days because of the depressed feeling I get these few days. But this is the only place I could say out my feelings, I couldn't tell anyone so blogging is the only option I have. To be honest, I've been not telling this, I have cried a few times just for you. I'm not as tough as you can see it. I'm weak as hell in a relationship.
I don't want to lose you.
I accept your flaws. I don't mind how not good looking you are compare to others, I just plainly love you.
I don't care what your family got to say what about me because they are not the one I gonna marry. It's you are the one I'm gonna marry.
Sorry for everything that could have hurt you. Sorry to your family that your daughter is in a lousy man's hands. Sorry!
I just wanted to be your everything.
~Adam~
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